STUBBORN IMMIGRANTS

I grew up in a country where cows are fed in meadows; we eat apples from a grandma’s garden tree; we drink freshly squeezed carrot juice; and we dig our own potatoes. We commute by foot and basketball is our second religion.

The day we entered Canada was the day me and my family ballooned. We did not understand the impact that big variety of not so natural foods (colors, sugar), lack of exercise and stress had on our bodies. We were too stubborn to admit what was happening and there’s something we can do about it.

After becoming personal trainer, I spent endless hours educating my family about the harm processed sugar does to our bodies. I tried to get them to exercise regularly, but they were resistant. At some point I gave up.

A year went by and today I watch my family exercise more than I do. I receive occasional calls from my mom with an advice on healthier recipe and better foods. At some point I had to ask myself what changed? Why now? And how come they are thanking me when I gave up on them?

MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING COURSE AT UBC

It wasn’t until I took weekend course at UBC on Motivational Interviewing. The course taught strategies to encourage change in seemingly unmotivated individuals. It taught me patience and listening skills and how we can help each other.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO?

If the above story reminds you of someone you know. If they seem unmotivated and unwilling to change, but you fear for their life, here’s what you can do:

Do not give up.

Stop harassing them, but don’t give up. It’s a myth that people are unmotivated and unwilling. The key is to find their motivation. Keep probing them, empathize and question them. In no way try try to solve their problem, let them find their own solution.

Learn if it’s knowledge or confidence they need to build.

There are two reasons people don’t try – lack of knowledge and lack of confidence. Figure out which one it is and then work to build it up.

Start by asking how important the change is for them on the scale from 1 to 10. Then follow up with question why they picked the number they did. Ask why they didn’t choose higher number.

The second question should be about their confidence. Ask them to evaluate their confidence in regards of the change on the scale from 1 to 10 and again follow up with lower number question. Keep asking why?!

Listen.

Be extremely attentive to what they are saying. Be ready to provide assistance when they ask for it, but make sure not to press it upon them.

The key in the entire process is patience. You have to understand it’s their choice and you you need to be there for them when they feel ready to change.

Have fun with it and one day they’ll be grateful.